gameoverI love to win. The smug sense of superiority I get when I overcome my opponents simply cannot be matched sometimes. It’s amusing to me to know that I have conquered friends, family, and strangers. It’s a license to brag. For a few shining moments, I am revered as something magical. Unstoppable. Truly the greatest. That is, until the next round when a bullet sets up camp in my character’s head.


As the old adage goes, you can’t win them all. I used to believe that I was the exception. I was the kid who would flip the Monopoly board when I landed on my mom’s Boardwalk with a hotel on it. Get rid of that much of my money? No thank you. I’d rather just stop playing. I was fine with all the pieces scattered in the floor and on the table and the money fluttering away. As long as I didn’t have to pick it up, I was free to run crying to my room to pout. With each recurring incident, one of my parents or a member of my family would always look at me with disapproval and call me a sore loser.

“Sore loser,” I’d think. “Pshh. I’m a kid, I don’t even know what that means.” All that was clear to me was that when you win, you get everything. The approval, the euphoric feelings, and sometimes even prizes, especially at birthday parties. Long story short, I grew up one of the sorest losers to be found anywhere. No matter what game, console, board, PC, or even sport, all I wanted was to come out on top. And if I couldn’t? I’d just cheat my way there, because then I’d be a winner.

tenI never felt any remorse for being a spoiled brat, crying and pouting my way out of losses or demanding handicaps for my opponents until I began playing Mario Tennis for the Nintendo 64 with my dad. After numerous disputes with my parents over the years, I’ve come to find that gaming sessions with my father will usually mend any rift. My dad’s a big sports fan, but he is unable to play most. Sports games, to him, are a great way to experience them since he cannot. Of course, he annihilated me almost every match as Yoshi against my Boo.

“YOU CHEATED!” I’d scream, and toss my N64 controller down in a fit of rage. I’ll never forget the day my dad had decided that enough was enough, and that he wasn’t going to play with a sore loser anymore. Suddenly I had lost my favorite gaming partner. I would get out Mortal Kombat and he would vehemently refuse to play. Mario Party became a solo affair. GoldenEye multiplayer wasn’t an option. All this time spent alone got me thinking.

Why was winning so important to me?

The short answer is that it really wasn’t. The more solitude I experienced, the more my mood began to deteriorate. I loved that time spent with my dad. One lucky day, he proposed we start up a match of Mario Tennis. Four games in, I had lost all but once. It didn’t matter, though. I had been having fun. I was enjoying the game, and that’s the point of gaming. To have fun. In fact, I wouldn’t even be here writing this if I didn’t enjoy gaming. However, though I have put beyond me the need to win everything I compete in, there are those who simply cannot stand to go 4 and 25 in Halo or suffer a loss in a Guitar Hero match.

As I have stated before, I love to experience any game that I possibly can. This leaves little time for competing in friendly online matches, unless I’m that frustrated with my current project that I just want to spend time online. I’m not into the MMORPGs because I want to finish as many games as I can. Simply put, I am not a competitive gamer at the moment. Actually, I’m going to pull a percentage out of the air here and wager that out of all the gamers who say they’re pro, maybe 30% actually are. With that said, it’s difficult to understand why winning must be the only perk that you get from gaming with others.

teaIt’s one thing to enter matches with a group of trusted friends who don’t care about how well they do, but you can’t always rely on that. Sometimes you will either want to or have to play with strangers. Make some new friends, right? It’s just a bit hard to when half of your opponents on the losing side make lewd comments about your sexuality, your mother, your rank, and even your race, when they can’t even see you. The losing side reacts as if you ran over their dog. This isn’t just a scenario I face. Everyone has (or will have) experienced this in their online gaming career at some point. It’s as if nothing matters except for victory. The game can’t simply be fun. Flags have to be captured, foes must all be eliminated, and God forbid anyone die in the process. It’s as serious as a heart attack, and it’s often a life or death situation.

Not everyone has 70+ hours a week to spend memorizing maps, exploiting glitches, or upping their rank. What’s more, not everyone wants to. It obviously doesn’t make you less of a gamer, and it most certainly does not mean that you should be unwelcome because you might lose a match or two, or four, or twenty. It’s not wrong to strive for greatness, either, because with enough practice you could very well win the majority of the games you play. There is no guarantee, however, but more power to those who want to be the best at any given game. That’s their prerogative, and I respect that, especially the best of the best who really earned their stats.

I just want to play games. I just want to have fun. Real fun, the kind that comes from spending time with friends and meeting new people, not from telling everyone how much of a noob they are because they were virtually pumped full of lead for a good fifteen minutes. Being just that, a “noob”, is never anything to be ashamed of, if you really are a beginner and you aren’t just being insulted. It’s treated like such an enormous deal when someone is new to the game. Oh god, can’t have the noob on our team. Oh great, we’re going to lose now. Everyone was once new, but this wanting to win turns people into selfish braggarts who have no regard for others.

Unless you’re getting paid to win, or your career is riding on it, there is no reason to become so hateful toward others who either did not further your cause or thwarted it. Sure you can strive to win, but don’t make it your m.o. Remember why you ever picked up a controller or a mouse in the first place. Because I don’t want to be mixed up in your elitist BS. I don’t want to boost with you. I don’t want a modded controller, and I don’t want to hack like in the days of GunZ: The Duel. I want to play fair, and I want to play clean. I want to share my passion with you. I want to play and get a little better, because as we all should know by know it’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.

How do you play your game?

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This entry was posted on Thursday, July 16th, 2009 at 9:19 am and is filed under Editorials, Gaming. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

 
  • Enganox
    I really hate being cursed out when I win, and get no replies when I congratulate other for winning! This article is very true.
  • I completely agree with you! I grew up playing games the exact opposite way: whether playing with my family or with my friends, it was all about having fun. If someone decided to get angry over not winning, we didn't want to play with them, because we'd spend hours battling Mario and Luigi over gold coins or who could last the longest in Super Mario Bros. 3—and we'd laugh our asses off.

    Yet today, it's exactly how you described. People are so consumed with winning and with being "hardcore." Who the hell cares—unless, yeah, it's your career. Since when did playing a game for the first time start being such an intimidating experience because you're the "noob"? It seems like it's hard to find people anymore who don't care about that—who just want to play to have fun, despite whether your rock socks or get the crap beaten out of you. Everyone plays to win and likes to revel in their victory, but that shouldn't be the focus of the experience—and you should take it with an understanding of humility, not as if it's written in stone. Because of the way I grew up playing games, I can't stand it when I play with people who are all about competition. It's just plain depressing.
  • I completely agree with you! I grew up playing games the exact opposite way: whether playing with my family or with my friends, it was all about having fun. If someone decided to get angry over not winning, we didn't want to play with them, because we'd spend hours battling Mario and Luigi over gold coins or who could last the longest in Super Mario Bros. 3—and we'd laugh our asses off.

    Yet today, it's exactly how you described. People are so consumed with winning and with being "hardcore." Who the hell cares—unless, yeah, it's your career. Since when did playing a game for the first time start being such an intimidating experience because you're the "noob"? It seems like it's hard to find people anymore who don't care about that—who just want to play to have fun, despite whether your rock socks or get the crap beaten out of you. Everyone plays to win and likes to revel in their victory, but that shouldn't be the focus of the experience—and you should take it with an understanding of humility, not as if it's written in stone. And because of the way I grew up playing games, I can't stand it when I play with people who are all about competition. It's just plain depressing.
  • I completely agree with you! I grew up playing games the exact opposite way: whether playing with my family or with my friends, it was all about having fun. If someone decided to get angry over not winning, we didn't want to play with them, because we'd spend hours battling Mario and Luigi over gold coins or who could last the longest in Super Mario Bros. 3—and we'd laugh our asses off.

    Yet today, it's exactly how you described. People are so consumed with winning and with being "hardcore." Who the hell cares—unless, yeah, it's your career. Since when did playing a game for the first time start being such an intimidating experience because you're the "noob"? It seems like it's hard to find people anymore who don't care about that—who just want to play to have fun, despite whether your rock socks or get the crap beaten out of you. Everyone plays to win and likes to revel in their victory, but that shouldn't be the focus of the experience---and you should take it with an understanding of humility, not as if it's written in stone. And because of the way I grew up playing games, I can't stand it when I play with people who are all about competition. It's just plain depressing.
  • I completely agree with you! I grew up playing games the exact opposite way: whether playing with my family or with my friends, it was all about having fun. If someone decided to get angry over not winning, we didn't want to play with them, because we'd spend hours battling Mario and Luigi over gold coins or who could last the longest in Super Mario Bros. 3---and we'd laugh our asses off.

    Yet today, it's exactly how you described. People are so consumed with winning and with being "hardcore." Who the hell cares---unless, yeah, it's your career. Since when did playing a game for the first time start being such an intimidating experience because you're the "noob"? It seems like it's hard to find people anymore who don't care about that---who just want to play to have fun, despite whether your rock socks or get the crap beaten out of you. Everyone plays to win and likes to revel in their victory, but that shouldn't be the focus of the experience---and you should take it with an understanding of humility, not as if it's written in stone. And because of the way I grew up playing games, I can't stand it when I play with people who are all about competition. It's just plain depressing.
  • I completely agree with you! I grew up playing games the exact opposite way: whether playing with my family or playing with my friends, it was all about having fun. If someone decided to get angry over not winning, we didn't want to play with them, because we'd spend hours battling Mario and Luigi over gold coins or who could last the longest in Super Mario Bros. 3---and we'd laugh our asses off.

    Yet today, it's exactly how you described. People are so consumed with winning and with being "hardcore." Who the hell cares---unless, yeah, it's your career. Since when did playing a game for the first time start being such an intimidating experience because you're the "noob"? It seems like it's hard to find people anymore who don't care about that---who just want to play to have fun, despite whether your rock socks or get the crap beaten out of you. Everyone plays to win and likes to revel in their victory, but that shouldn't be the focus of the experience---and you should take it with an understanding of humility, not as if it's written in stone. And because of the way I grew up playing games, I can't stand it when I play with people who are all about competition. It's just plain depressing.
  • I agree. Some of the best games I've played in the world of Sports are when I lose. However, I do think that playing a game with someone who doesn't even try to win is not any fun either. I'll play to win, and because of that, I expect my co-player to play to win as well. That doesn't mean I won't congratulate him on winning, but I think it adds more fun to have that competitive edge, which buds respect.
  • CuatroChihuahuas
    Great editorial... :) My husband isn't much of a gamer, but part of the reason he isn't, is because he is insanely competitive and really, really, hates to loose... you can't play any game with him because he'll get really angry if he starts loosing... Takes the fun out of it... lol. Really, I don't know why people have to be so competitive. Sure, it's fun to win, but it's fun just to play. Enjoy yourself... if you spend too much time focusing on winning, then it isn't even fun anymore: it's a chore. :P. Really enjoyed reading this piece!
  • Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!
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